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love went dark | sookie&warlow
|losing your memory||buffy♥angel|
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things happen for a reason, sometimes you make a big mistake just to learn a lesson. insecurities are evil, don't let them get to you. i believe i wanted to be sad, to blame myself for everything that happened. To think I was never good enough for anyone. But really guys, it took me a long time to realize that it's okay to love someone and not be loved back.
you learn from that and even though it aches so much to know that they will never care about you, you learn to move on and let go slowly. it's like i'm growing up. do the thing you fear the most. move on from the thing that pulls you back. break away from the pain and embrace a new life - a new beginning. you are all beautiful. and i hope all of you know that. i'm sorry, i was just a child then. i opened my heart to the wrong people. fell for the stupid love song. but it's okay, because i was happy in that time and for that i will be eternally grateful. so even if it was a joke.
Things were always misunderstood. My obsession with finding peace with this had never seemed to rest. I needed closure and in some ways I will always need it. Even if I found someone that loves me in real life, people that are there for me everyday, I will always need to know why. I will always wonder what really happened. I guess that's just what happens in those dreadful rainy nights. You reminisce, yearn for a different ending, the 'what if?' question haunting me. I can move on, but I could never forget any of you. I love you all, deeply. When you're young you feel so intensely, it's like the world is dying inside of your heart. and that's exactly what I feel and what I will always feel in the back of my mind. Abandonment never seems to fade, the memory alone changes you, makes you a completely different person.
This experience was life changing. I will always love you all, Michael, Surreyya, Cass, Heather, and Jess. With every fight, every laugh, I will always hold on to that bond and remember it further on in life. Not even my best friend knows me like you all. You've seen me at my worst, my best, my absolute brokeness and somehow even if months pass, we still find something to say…..I miss you all……and please forgive me for everything, because I forgive you.
<3 <3 <3 <3 love you girly always
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